You Still Have All Of Me
by Pink Mockingjay in Hufflepuff
Summary: No parent should have to bury their child. That's not the way the world is supposed to work. No parent should have to see their baby suffer either. The hardest part is letting go. After letting go, the memories still linger.
1. Chapter 1

**You Still Have All Of Me**

"The world is not a wish granting factory."_ -The Fault in Our Stars _**by John Green**

* * *

Albus was sleeping. He was always sleeping now. It was rare anyone saw his eyes open anymore. When his eyes did open, it was only for a short while.

Lily's asked many times why he's always sleeping when she comes to visit. Ginny's never known what to say to her. A Healer told her it was because his body was trying to heal itself and that happened by sleep, just like when she got a cold and needed rest to feel better. Ginny wasn't sure that was the whole story, but it comforted Lily.

Today, Ginny was the only one in the room with her son.

Harry had gone to work with James and Lily, who had special permission to go with him. Kingsley said they needed a day to get their minds off everything else. James had smiled, really smiled, for the first time in weeks when Harry told them the previous day after dinner.

Ginny sat on the edge of Albus' bed and brushed his hair off his forehead. He didn't move a muscle. She sighed.

"Leo misses you, Al." she said quietly, running her hand through his hair. Leo was Albus' loyal and very sweet Barn Owl. "So do we, buddy."

He had been admitted to St. Mungo's almost a month ago. They didn't think he would make it through the night. Harry and Ginny had heard that before- he was born with an extremely Wizarding disease that killed most born with it in twenty four hours, but he made it. He had made it a second time, waking up the next morning with a smile.

The Healers promised he'd be home in less than a week and he continued to get better. The day before he was supposed to come home, his condition took a downward spiral and he continued to get worse since that day. There was nothing anyone could do for him. All of their options had been exhausted. Harry and Ginny were told that Albus didn't have much time left.

Albus' tenth birthday had been happier for his parents than his eleventh. He had officially outlived the longest living boy from years ago with his disease that died at nine years old. The age the next parents with a child born with this disease would hold their breaths until was twelve.

Albus' breaths were raspy and short, one arm was curled around his stuffed owl that he received as a present from his godfather, Neville, when he was just a baby.

Ginny smiled a little when she thought of little Albus curled up next to Harry, clutching his owl just like he was now. Albus and Harry were always very close, as they shared a birthday. They were exactly twenty five years apart. Albus always wanted to do whatever his father was doing, even more than James did.

Ginny was startled when she felt a firm grip on her other hand, like the way a baby grabs your finger. Albus was awake. Awake enough to find her hand anyways.

"Are you awake, sweetheart?" Ginny asked.

"Mummy?" he asked quietly.

"Yes?"

Albus turned his head up towards her. He didn't look like himself. He was sad and tired looking. He wasn't smiling. He was a shy and quiet boy, he always had been, but his face was very expressive, and his smiles were catchy and lit up a room. Today, his face just held pain.  
He looked up at her for a long time, trying to find his words. They often escaped him. He tried to sit up.

"No, honey," Ginny said. "You can't do that."

"Mummy," he said quietly. "Please."

Ginny let him sit up against her. She rubbed his back and kissed his head.

"Where's Daddy?" Albus had slipped back to calling his parents Mummy and Daddy since his admittance into the hospital.

"He's at work with Lily and James."

Albus cuddled closer to her.

"We miss you at home, sweetheart. It's lonely without you." she kissed the top of his head again.

"Mummy?" he asked, before coughing.

"What?"

"I'm not coming home, am I?"

Ginny hugged him tighter, trying to fight tears back. "Don't talk like that, love."

"I'm going to die, aren't I?"

She couldn't lie to him, so she nodded slightly, holding him closer to her. Admitting to herself, and to him, that he wasn't going to come home was the hardest thing she had ever done. She wanted to keep him with her and watch him get married and have children, but he wasn't meant to do those things. He had been in the family for twelve years, a wonderful twelve years. Maybe they weren't meant to have him longer than that. Maybe he was too good to stay with them. Maybe they didn't deserve such a special boy. Even if she didn't deserve him, she still loved him. Letting go would be so hard.

Not more than an hour later, Albus was worse than he ever had been, but he was awake. He was having trouble breathing.

Harry, after getting a Patronus call from a Healer, showed up with James and Lily.

The Healer's Patronus had said that Albus was worse and he wanted to say goodbye to his brother and sister. The Healer brought a frightened James and a teary Lily into his room and Ginny met Harry in the hallway.

"He knows, Harry." she told him through her tears, balling her hands into fists. "He isn't afraid, I asked him. I just want my little boy happy and healthy again. I'm his mother! I should be able to help him, but I can't! I should be able to make him better. I've done it with scrapes and fevers, why should this be any different? Why cant I help him?"

Harry wrapped his arms around her. "I don't know, love. I don't know."

A few minutes later, the children were brought out of the room (Ron and Hermione were taking them home) and Harry and Ginny went in.

Albus was laying still, it pained him to breathe to heavily. His owl was laying across his chest. He smiled when he saw his father.

"Daddy,"

"Hey buddy." Harry said, sitting next to him. Harry was trying not to cry.

"Daddy?" there was a long pause. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Can Leo be your owl now?"

Harry reached over to ruffle his hair. "Of course he can."

"I love you Daddy."

"I love you too, Al."

"Mummy?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Can you still have a chocolate cake on my birthday? Lily likes it."

"Anything for you Al."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Albus"

Albus smiled a bit. "I'm tired."

"Go to sleep, Al. It's alright." Ginny said, starting to cry again and taking his hand. "We'll be alright."

"I don't want to."

"It's alright Al, really." Harry added, taking his other hand. "Go to sleep."

Albus was quiet for a few minutes before he spoke. "She seems nice."

"Who does?" Harry asked. He and Ginny were the only people in the room other than him.

"Grandmum Lily."

Ginny took a deep breath.

"Can I go with her? She wants me to."

"Yeah, buddy. You can." Harry replied. He didn't want Albus to suffer anymore and if letting him go with his grandmother was the way, he wasn't going to refuse him that. He was a good boy. A good, sweet, happy boy that didn't deserve to be sick all the time. Of course he was going to miss him, but he deserved not to suffer anymore.

Ginny kissed Albus' forehead one last time. Albus smiled and shut his eyes.

Albus Severus Potter passed peacefully in his sleep.

* * *

_**A/N: Hey all! Thanks for reading! This story is not over yet, but I couldn't post it all at once. I cried a lot writing this and I didn't want to make you all cry as much as I did. I've always felt that Albus was a very smart kid and would know that he was going to die before it happened. Also, I know it said he was never awake for long periods of time anymore, but I think he'd force himself to stay awake for his family one last time.**_

_**This story is separate from all my other ones. This will be the only one I ever write where Albus dies (frankly, I don't think I could handle killing him off again).**_

"_**Our Next Big Adventure" is still on hiatus, sadly. Would you mind if I skipped way ahead and made an epilogue for it? That's the only idea I seem to have. I have a completed Frozen story if anyone's interested.**_

_**Sorry if the grammar/punctuation in this story is off. Like I said, I was crying writing this. Let me know if there's anything major and I'll fix it.**_

_**This will probably have two or three more parts, depending on how I decide to split it up.**_

_**Thanks again for reading!**_

_**~Pink Mockingjay in Hufflepuff**_


	2. Chapter 2

Ginny was sitting on her bed, holding Al's stuffed owl in her arms. She was staring out the window into the night sky. It was clear, star-filled and beautiful. Albus loved the stars.

The Healers had given her the owl after they were asked to leave the room. Ginny's first thought was that Al would want his owl. He was always frightened in new places (She knew there was a place. Harry had told her there was). She couldn't find it in herself to give Owl back, though. What would become of it anyway?

Harry walked into the room and sat next to her. Without looking at him, Ginny spoke.

"Do you think he really saw her?"

"I do." Harry replied, pulling Ginny against his side.

"Why is this so hard?" Ginny asked, sniffling into his shoulder. "He doesn't have to be in pain anymore, I should be happy about that."

"But you aren't going to be happy about that. Neither am I. I know he was hurting, but he was our son. We held him when when he was just a baby, we watched him grow up. Now he's gone and we can't ever have him back."

"It's not fair." Ginny whispered.

"No, it's not fair."

"What did I do wrong?"

"What?" Harry asked, shocked that Ginny would blame anything on herself.

"What did I do wrong, Harry? Why did he have to leave us?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Gin. You did everything right. He left us because it was his time to. He was a smart kid, probably smarter than we'll ever know. We only knew him for a short time. Maybe he has something more to do and he couldn't do it with us."

Ginny snuggled closer to him, still holding the stuffed owl tight in her arms. "I hope he knows how much we love him."

"I think he does." Harry said, moving his hand to rub Ginny's back.

"I'm not going to make it through these next few days, Harry."

Harry kissed the side of her head. "I know. Me either." He couldn't bear to think of Albus laying in some room somewhere, alone. He only wanted to think of him tucked into bed, sleeping soundly. "We'll be okay. I promise. Somehow... eventually."

"Mummy? Daddy?" came a tiny voice from outside the door. "Can I come in?"

"Come in, Lily-Flower." Harry said gently.

Lily opened the door and crawled onto her parents' bed. Harry allowed her to sit in his lap. "I can't sleep. Not without Al next-door."

"Me either." James added, joining his family on the bed. "It's only been a day, not even, and I don't like it. It's too quiet, not that he was loud or anything, but it's empty."

Ginny sniffled, Lily cuddled more against Harry's chest.

James and Lily wound up sleeping in their parents' room for the next three nights.

* * *

There were too many 'I'm so sorry's and 'It'll get easier's. Ginny had to get out of there. Lily was practically attached to Harry's hand. James was sitting in the corner of the room, holding his head in his hands, pretending he wasn't crying. Different people would come sit by him and try to talk to him. His girlfriend couldn't even get him to talk.

Ginny had escaped to a bench outside, still holding Al's owl. She hadn't let it out of her sight since he passed away. Her mother was starting to worry about her attachment to the thing, but her father had managed to convince her that it was her way of grieving, like the way she held onto Fred's hand from the clock after it fell off.

There were so many people there. Minerva and Hagrid and several other teachers had showed up. A lot of his school friends and their families, people Harry worked with, Ginny's old Quidditch team and her coworkers from the Prophet. So many people, all pretending they knew how much it hurt. They weren't empathetic, they were sympathetic pretending to have empathy. No one knew Albus like she did. She used to stay up late with him until he finally fell asleep (he had awful insomnia), she held him when he cried. She felt almost guilty because she hadn't cried very much, but she felt too numb to do much of anything.

"Um, excuse me?"

Ginny turned to look at a blonde boy. She smiled a bit. He was Albus' best friend. Scorpius and Al and Rose were the Harry, Ron, and Hermione of their day. Just quieter and making much less trouble. "Hello Scorpius."

"I'm sorry to bother you Mrs. Potter, I just wanted to give you this." Scorpius shyly pulled a small dinosaur figurine from his pocket and held it out to her. "Albus left this in my room last time he was over. I figured that you ought to have it back."

Ginny recognized it as one of his favorites. Albus had always loved dinosaurs of all kinds (he had a large collection of figurines in his room) and stegosauruses were his absolute favorites, this one particularly. Leaving it it Scorpius' room was not an accident. James would excitedly hand over something he made when he was little, Lily would too, though shyly. Albus would always leave it for someone to find. He was too shy to give it to you in person.

"Scorpius," Ginny began slowly, smiling a bit to herself at the memories of finding little things over the years from Al. "I learned many years ago that Albus never accidentally leaves anything anywhere. If you find something that's from him, he wanted you to have it."

"But-"

"Scorpius, he wanted you to have it. You keep it."

Scorpius smiled weakly and put it back in his pocket. "He was a good friend. I'll miss him a lot."

Ginny smiled back.

"Scorpius, honey, it's time to go." Astoria said, walking slowly over to them. Astoria put a hand on Scorpius' shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Ginny. I know you probably will hear that for days, but I know how you feel. I lost my little girl when she was only a year old. It does get easier, eventually. It's a slow process but I promise it will."

Ginny smiled a bit at Astoria and stood up. They were friends, so Ginny hugged Astoria and then Scorpius. "Thank you for coming."

"You're welcome." Astoria said quietly.

"I should probably go back inside."

"If you ever need anything, you let me know." Astoria said.

Ginny nodded and went back inside. Lily was sitting by James now, holding his hand. She had managed to get him to talk. Harry took Ginny's hand. Rose had lingered by them for awhile, before Hermione and Ron brought her back by them.

When they got back home, James and Lily started off in their own bedrooms, but eventually Lily went in James' because they were both feeling lonely. Harry and Ginny sat next to each other on the couch because they were feeling lonely too.

This behavior was odd, considering Albus Potter had thought himself to be rather boring and unimportant. Part of him even thought that his family would be better off with him gone.

_**A/N: Hi everyone, sorry it took so long for the update! I've had this all typed out for a while but with finals and all, it got to be a bit overwhelming! You can expect probably two more chapters in this story. I'll probably be starting a HTTYD story in the near future (the second movie is AWESOME by the way!) if anyone's interested. **_

_**Thanks for reading you guys, I hope you liked it! Please review, it means a lot!**_


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